Wet Summer 2023

There’s a very good reason why I try to do the blog the same evening, the girls left four days ago and have been basking in the Mediterranean heat (33 degrees I was told). I’ve been resting and reading the book I started – my summer holidays have begun, and of course feeling guilty that I hadn’t finished the blog.

Anyhow, the last day began with a little more teaching to begin with, then once packed we headed off for Alnwick (pronounced Anick – Northumberland names are very strange.) I had explained that it was here that they shot the first lesson of riding broomsticks in Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone – so they were really excited. (They hadn’t heard of Downton Abbey, so I didn’t label that connection.)

There was a weather warning in place in the UK, and it was set to hit a few hours after their take off the next day – but it was still wet, cold and miserable. When we got there, poor Marina was clearly cold, with two layers of clothing on. So, we picked up the pace, got into the castle grounds and went straight for the Royal Apartments. Marina was very appreciative.

Apparently, the current Duchess of Northumberland enjoyed taxidermy, so it was explained that there would be quite a few stuffed animals as we went around, including seven stuffed rats – Marina, having regained her warmth, was an expert at spot the rat and found them all.

The girls were very impressed with the apartments, the furnishings, paintings and displays of outfits warn at various royal functions, e.g. a previous Duchess of Northumberland who had been handmaid to Queen Elizabeth (Queen mother) at the coronation of George VI. I loved the library – again! It is strange that they don’t have a drinks cabinet, instead there was a large table with about 50 bottles of alcohol, and a teensy weensy bottle of Jägermeister (that I usually have as the largest bottle 😊). I wanted the girls to ask some questions, as the guides there are so knowledgeable, but they are still too shy. Note to self: I hope to have another opportunity with them, and we shall practise questions ahead of time.

The castle is deceptively large, as the inner courtyard is very small, and from the outside it doesn’t look that big, but inside there’s quite a Tardis effect. Given that the family still lives there (we only saw a selection of rooms, no ancient bedrooms, I can only assume that they’ve been modernised), but I can’t imagine how people can live like that – a completely different world.

Once outside, the weather had warmed a little, so we explored the outer courtyards and the Artisan Courtyard. The typical views of the English countryside from the battlements, broomstick flying lessons for the kiddies, the family’s collections of artefacts unearthed locally during their excavations (a big hobby for the Victorian Dukes), a military museum that was surprisingly interesting and hundreds of sheep!

We made our way to the Artisan’s Court – and would the girls dress up in medieval costumes – no! Teenagers! Anyhow, they explored the various areas withing and posed in the stocks and on the thrones (clearly not real). We also went into the dragon’s den, which has been altered since last I was there – but there were squeals of surprise from the girls as we went around, starting with the face that came alive in the knight’s statue to explain everything. The mirrors made it hard to make our way, and we bumped ourselves around the exhibit with weird noises, smoke, growling dragons etc.

The girls went into the shop and enjoyed looking at all of the Harry Potter gifts. We had seen plenty of children wandering about in Harry Potter’s school uniform, or with Gryffindor capes and casting spells with a variety of wands.

Having bought dinner for later (I found a big M & S on the outskirts of Alnwick), the girls settled in for a 2-hour journey to the hotel next to the airport. They whiled the time watching Venom – in English (so proud).

The room at the Ibis was very compact – the 3^rd bed was a narrow bunk bed above the double bed – swinging a cat wouldn’t have been possible. I settled in with a book – and gave the girls my laptop with Harry Potter on. I was asleep in no time – just as well, as it was a 4.30 alarm call. The girls had doughnuts and chocolate eclairs for breakfast, and we headed for the airport.

It was strange to say goodbye to the girls, the 6 days went by so fast – we hugged (rather than the French bisous when I met them a week ago) – and off I went.

I really enjoyed having the girls, they were wonderful guests – and I love showing people around – tour guiding being my second passion after teaching. I’m looking forward to the next visitor – you?

Typical, you wait 30 hours for a blog and then two come at once! (Karina has just kindly informed me that no-one is waiting for my blog – daughters! They don’t understand wishful thinking.)

Today is ‘mormor’ day (mother’s mother). That means getting up really early ahead of the arrival of a hyper energetic 4-year-old. I had warned Daria and Marina, and Leli didn’t disappoint, she went straight to their door at 7.30 and asked if she could come in. After four knocks, she grew impatient and went in, Marina was lying dazed in her bed and Daria was still fast asleep – not for long!

The weather forecast was rain – but as that seems to be for the foreseeable future, there was little point in waiting for things to brighten up. Armed with coats and umbrellas, we set off for Beamish Museum – only a 35-minute drive, which isn’t bad.

The only option is to buy a ticket that lasts for a year, I’m sure I’ll use it a few times – but unless Daria and Marina come back in the next 12 months, I think it is quite expensive.

What is Beamish Museum? I hear you ask. Well, it’s an outdoor site with lots of different areas representing how people lived and worked from the 18^th Century until life during WW2. All of the employees are in costume, and you can get around by trams and buses that are between 50 – 100 years old.

The first stop was the colliery, where the girls went into one of the pumping stations. When they came out, I asked how it went, Daria said that it was very interesting, the man in there told them all about it, but she didn’t understand a word – now either their English isn’t what it should be – or he spoke with a northern accent – my money is on the latter. They didn’t want to queue for the mine experience, so we went into the houses of the miners – and tried our hand at playing their various modes of entertainment, with moderate success.

The church was grim, although the school next to it was far more interesting – the cloakrooms weren’t too far off my memories of primary school in the 60s, rows upon rows of pegs (brought me in mind of a Monty Python Meaning of Life sketch about moving your coat onto different pegs – and the Dave Allen joke about his son, when dropping him off at school for the first time said, ‘You will remember to pick me up when I’m 18!’)

Leli remembered the experience of the fun fair, so kept on going on about it – so we skipped the WW2 farm and went to the fun fair. The girls enjoyed being spun around and hurled down the helter skelter. Leli insisted that Daria take her on the swings, and Leli wasn’t half bad at pulling on the rope – but clearly most of the success came from Daria’s efforts. Leli also went on two carousels and won a puppy for throwing a ping pong ball in a jar.

Lunch beckoned, so in the Victorian street, we went into a typical English eatery – I wasn’t sure quite how to translate some of the dishes, but I knew what jacket potatoes with cheese and baked beans was – so we had 3 of those – I’ve never seen potatoes that big! Marina’s eyes grew as large as teacups (a Hans Christian Andersen reference) – I was wondering how she’d manage, Marina hasn’t got the biggest appetite – but made a fair attempt, in truth, none of us finished our massive spuds!

Leli and I queued for ages for the sweet shop, whilst Daria and Marina could go and explore the various Victorian shops, garage, bank etc. Finally, we decided to go to the WW2 farm, as I thought farmyard animals would brighten the day. The three pigs were a little disappointing, just flicking their ears at flies every other minute (not prancing around singing ‘who’s afraid of the big bad wolf’, as had been anticipated, but we discovered a pigsty with 8 piglets and glee abounded, they were very playful.

It was time to go home, so we waited for the bus/tram – and it started to rain! Given that I’d been told it would rain in the afternoon, I actually thought it wasn’t so bad – we’d had a good innings. We waited, then tried waiting, next I got fed up – so Leli was hoisted upon my back again and we walked to the exit.

The evening’s entertainment was one of the best comedies of all time – any guesses? think about it… Well, I chose ‘Some Like it Hot’ – I do like to watch it each year, it is hilarious. I thought that there’d be enough visual humour for the girls, as I knew the English might be difficult – I hadn’t reckoned on how fast they spoke and the heavy accents – but judging from the laughter, the visual humour worked just fine – and the girls had heard of Marilyn Monroe! Well done them.

I’d tried out a traditional dessert for film night, I shouldn’t have changed from doughnuts, as Mr Kipling’s Apple Pie with Bird’s Eye custard (I’ll be applying for advertising fees if enough people read this – I won’t expect a favourable response from my daughters, I’ve been reliably informed that Camilla has never read one!) – but it wasn’t a winner, as even Daria couldn’t finish it off, but at least they tried.

Anyhow, we’re leaving for Edinburgh tomorrow – time flies!

This is what’s known as a day off! We babysat Leli for an hour or so, which was the first time that Daria and Marina had met her. They got on like a house on fire! They helped her with her doll’s house – Marina tidying it up as they went along – what a godsend! They had also kindly brought a present for Leli – Lego Frozen for 4+, Leli was thrilled – and the girls had to help her to assemble it. Once Camilla had collected Leli, they got down to some work on their diaries. Later I gave them directions to Sainsbury’s, as we needed bread for lunch – as well as some doughnuts – the girls have been introduced to this wonderful British culinary masterpiece, so they were only too delighted to help out.

Following lunch, I gave them directions to go into town – I explained the whole Metro system, what signs that they should be looking for and where to get off – all of which we did the first day in Newcastle, when I pointed things out then too.

We toddled off to the station and disaster struck! The metro for this section is closed for a week for repairs. It does make sense that they do it in the summer holidays, when many are taking their holidays – but it was quite a nuisance. I explained everything to the girls, they were taking a shuttle bus to Four End Lane, then off to Monument as planned. On the return, again from Monument, the train would stop at Four End Lane and they’d get the bus to Monkseaton. Daria looked at me in horror! Being the very cruel maternal figure that I am, I told them to be brave and it would be fine – and it was! I got regular updates on their shopping trip and everything went to plan.

Once home, they did some more work in their books while I prepared dinner – another excellent British culinary experience – ‘fajitas’, as I’ve explained the Brits love all foods, most of which aren’t British. I think the favourite dinner is ‘Indian’, but pizzas don’t come far behind – so why not try some Mexican food. Luckily the girls loved it.

After dinner we had a 30-minute read – in silence – no phones! We had all brought blankets in, as it was a bit nippy – in fact this morning I put the heating on for an hour or so!

As I’m writing on 1^st August, I can now tell you that July was the 3^rd wettest on record, and many cities in the North West and Northern Ireland had the wettest July ever! Had it been a nice day, no doubt we could have gone down to the seaside, had some fish ‘n’ chips (now that used to be the height of British cuisine). The forecast is much the same for August – how unlucky have the girls been!! Luckily they’ve been great sports about the dreadful climate.

So, what to do once we’d finished reading. I managed to work out how to get into Netflix – without Karina’s help! I was quite proud of myself. As I scanned through, the girls were very keen to see Kenneth Branagh’s ‘Murder on the Orient Express’. On the day that I had done least walking, I dozed off several times, but in all honesty, it isn’t as good as the Albert Finney version – or is it? Well, that’s to say that the scenery and cinematography is probably better. Branagh’s Poirot is funnier, I suppose – but he digressed from the original version, and I am a bit of an Agatha Christie purist. When I asked which of the three films that they had preferred, this one didn’t score well according to Daria and Marina!

And that’s it! Absolutely no history at all! Just a bog standard day in the North East of England.

Whilst the girls have been doing their diaries and the odd worksheet, I haven’t been doing much teaching – so I thought that I’d start Sunday with some work – obviously an hour delayed following the late night before. There really isn’t much of interest to note about that – we looked at extinct and endangered animals, vocabulary and present perfect tense – big whoop!

Instead, it’s more interesting to head to the afternoon where we went to Belsay Hall and Castle. It’s run by the English Heritage, and I knew that there was a special activity day – jousting! Luckily, I hadn’t expected to see great battles on horseback, as they clearly don’t know that jousting isn’t just two knights hitting each other, but we didn’t need to see the whole shebang and I hadn’t set up any expectations.

We just missed ‘knight training’, but as this involved 14 under 10s and wooden swords, I doubt Marina and Daria would have volunteered anyway. However, we were in time for the musical instruments. A wonderful couple, probably music teachers, went through almost 20 medieval instruments, an array of horns, lyres and drums. They were very funny too. They also got everyone to do a medieval dance – and when I saw them later, I thanked them profusely, as Daria had said that that was what she had enjoyed the most.

Then there were the knights hitting each other – hmmmm – I found it somewhat tedious, so I was delighted when Daria suggested that we look around the Hall. A regency building (1810 – 1817), which looks magnificent from the outside, but has fallen into disrepair – partly due to WW2 when the family were elsewhere involved in the war, and the lack of heating (scarce resources due to the war effort) which caused damn to permeate the house. A pity, as the Middletons had lived there since the 13^th Century.

However, we got a feeling for what the place must have looked like, as some rooms did have photos – the girls were particularly impressed with the size of the reading room / library, shelves sadly bare – oooo what I could do with a room like that!! They were also introduced to William Morris wallpaper, as the bedrooms had been redecorated in the Victorian era and there was pealing flower wallpaper in all of the upstairs rooms.

We also got a peak into the servants part of the house, in utter ruins – with 4 floors rather than the two floors with high ceilings of the main part. I can imagine how the war and the changes in social classes must have impacted the situation – who would want to work there in those conditions from the post-war period.

We could follow the knight’s melee from the front-facing rooms – the ‘Golden’ knight won – not surprised he seemed quite the bully! I did wonder if it was agreed beforehand, so that between the four knights there wasn’t too much bad blood and rivalry, as I could imagine it getting a bit heated. They were clearly all there for the weekend, and no doubt somewhere else next weekend.

Anyhow, it was time for ‘Top of the Chops’, where two knights talked their way through medieval forms of execution. They agreed that as Top of the Pops stopped being broadcast 15 years ago, and most of the kids were under 12, they would have to rename it – so they rebranded to ‘Axe Factor’ – hilarious if you’re up to speed with such things. (X-Factor – a talent show, if you’re not). Just as they started it began to rain – and I stood there considering whether I should run back to the car for the umbrellas (it had looked ok – famous last words!) They said that they had 2 minutes rain in the morning show – and would you believe it – 2 minutes later it just stopped. Thank goodness I hadn’t made a run for it.

This was definitely the most gruesome thing that I have ever seen. Not the show, but the kids! OMG! The two knaves were very entertaining and there was something for everyone. Having introduced the various methods of execution in the Middle Ages, they went on to look at the top 5 executions in British History. For each one, they described what had happened for them to be found guilty of treason, and then their method of execution, finishing off with what the kids thought should have happened to them – it was like watching those films from the French Revolution or the witch hunts – kids screaming out ‘burn them’, ‘off with their heads’ or ‘the full Monty!’ (Which was hung, drawn, and quartered), they were really baying for blood – it was truly appalling! William the Conqueror apparently loved having people’s eyes burnt out with a heated rod! And when he asked about who was the leader in 1066, and the kid asked said he didn’t know – I gasped, quite audibly! He noted that it was a sad indictment of the education system, but I am sure that the poor kid was nervous – and there was me having told the girls that everyone in England knows about 1066! (And when I told Camilla about it, she gasped too – but it was in a bedroom, so not quite as obvious).

So, Wat Tyler from the peasant’s revolt was dispatched (and some of the kids did know that one), then William Wallace (a very funny caricature of him with an Australian accent – Mel Gibson in Braveheart for anyone not understanding that one), and I presumed the last one would be Guy Fawkes, but they gave him a miss, so number 1 was … drum roll (yes we did a drum roll each time), Joan of Arc. As mentioned, each time they went around the crowd and each time I yelled let them go! And the one time, one of the knaves got around to where we were sitting, and I said ‘let them go’, and he looked at the braying kids on the other side and said ‘not a chance madam’, but the Dutch tourists next to us were also in agreement, and quite shocked by these kids – as were Daria and Marina – bloodthirsty little tykes!

Following this there were other various events, but we decided to explore the gardens and the ruins of the castle – no doubt a wise choice. The gardens there are beautiful, both the formal part and the quarry, where they got the stone for the Hall – which was set out as any good Victorian family would, with plenty for the children to study in terms of flora and fauna – a collector’s paradise. I was disappointed that we still can’t climb to the top of the castle battlements, but we looked around at the ruins and headed back, having explained to the girls what a ha-ha is (a sunken boundary, so you can have cattle in the field next to you, but they can’t get across). I’m sure that they will find great use for this new vocabulary!!

I asked the girls if they wanted an ice-cream, by now the performances had finished, everyone was packing up, so the hoards of families had left – so no queue for ice-creams! Daria asked if they could have marshmallows instead – wow what eagle-eyes! I hadn’t noticed that there was an area with oil drums ablaze for roasting marshmallows. They only had a few left – so the man gave them to the girls for free – kerching! I saved a whopping £3! 😊 More importantly, the girls loved them.

The drive there and back was lovely, as Belsay Hall is off the beaten track, so it was country lanes most of the way. On the way back, I decided we’d have a look at the Lighthouse on St. Mary’s Island – if the tide was out – it was. So we were able to cross the causeway, look in empty rockpools (bother, I had hoped for at least one crab), and we did manage to spot some seals in the distance, and one a bit closer up – but I was a little concerned about that one. The girls had the full experience of the North Sea coastline, it’s windy! We could look across to Whitley Bay, I wish I could make that sound really exciting, but it is just looking over at a row of buildings with ‘Spanish City’ not adding a great deal. (The white domed building).

Luckily for me, Marina truly loves her cooking – and therefore made dinner again – and she tidies up as she goes along (hint – Karina!!). At dinner time we listened to Elvis, as the girls hadn’t heard of him, fortunately they were saved by having heard the songs before, so it was just the name that eluded them.

The evening entertainment was less edifying than Miss Potter, but the girls had a good laugh at ‘Rat Race’ – it is sad that all foreign students only know Rowan Atkinson from Mr Bean, and don’t know John Cleese at all 😦

The day is only halfway through, so while the girls are busy working on their diaries (they’re still on Day 1, so slow progress), I thought I’d get ahead of the game by writing of this morning and afternoon’s events ahead of Kynren, which if it doesn’t rain, will be spectacular.

We drove to the middle of the UK – roughly – that is halfway between Newcastle on the East Coast and Carlisle on the West Coast, at its thinnest, The UK is only 84 miles wide – and the boarders of Hadrian’s wall is a good half way point, albeit not exact.

I checked to make sure that the girls didn’t get car sick, as it is a hilly journey, up and down twisting country roads most of the way there – in fact, Daria thoroughly enjoyed going over the ‘bumps’. It is an idyllic English countryside, rolling hills, plenty of sheep and cows – and about an hour from where I live. There are closer Roman forts, but this is the first set on one of the peaks.

I would say it was fairly windy when we got there, but not too cold. I had also picked Houseman’s as they were having an activity day, where there were plenty of men (5) dressed up as different ranks of Roman soldiers and even a Scotsman! We had a quick chat to the lowliest ranked recruit, who had goosebumps! He wasn’t entitled to the full uniform, so had to wear sandals and shorts on duty – wow this guy took his work seriously. I asked how many years before he’s old enough to represent one of the higher ranking officers – some time I’m afraid.

He was very knowledgeable about the role he played, so we spoke to him as if he was a Roman Soldier (who thankfully spoke 21^st Century English). He’d signed up for 25 years, and so didn’t have enough to buy a warmer uniform, as he had to save up from the rations he was given every month, and the odd payment, so he could buy a warmer uniform and better weaponry. I asked the girls if they’d want to ask him anything – they nearly ran away, cheeks flushed with embarrassment – however, they did consent to stand next to him for a photo opportunity. (Oh to be young).

I asked him what his survival chances were, and he said pretty good. The leader of the army was a greater target in battle, and there wasn’t really much going on at Hadrian’s Wall. The wall was more to keep the Scots out and stop the profiting from trading, as they didn’t want to pay the taxes due (I don’t think that’s changed… sorry, couldn’t help that, it wasn’t really a racial slur, I would have said it of any nation – who wants to pay taxes?!) Therefore, no battles to fight really.

We moved on and looked around, the girls enjoyed climbing around on the ruins, but were getting a little cold – as mentioned it was windy!

To warm them up a little, I took them out of the Fort area and up to the wall to the left of the fort. We walked along a copse, then pointed out the sheer drop on the other side of it. I reminisced on the difference between two sensible 16-year-olds and six rowdy 9–12-year-olds 4 years ago. I was close to a nervous breakdown last time, with kids running so close to the edge. Marina bravely walked out to the lookout point and posed for pictures, whereas Daria craned her neck towards the edge and decided she wasn’t going near it. Such a relief for me!

As we came out on the other side, we got to Mile Castle 37, not sure which side of the UK it started from though. They nodded politely and didn’t clamber all over it like a troop of monkeys, giving their English teacher heart palpitations like last time, very serene and mature.

We walked back and I recollected the last time I was there and Sasha slipped in the cow dung! I reflected on how many ways I could mention it, so as to tease her and check she’s reading this 😉 – such a good sport Sasha!!

I gathered the lunch from the car and we found a nice picnic table, occasionally the sun came out and it was glorious, then it started to rain and we made a dash for the car.

In the afternoon the girls had some time to work on their diaries – making quite slow progress, I think that they are perfectionists and want it just right, I saw some torn-out pages and then they started again.

We didn’t have dinner at home – in hindsight I’m not sure that was a good idea. However, I wanted the girls to have the full experience – so we set off at 6pm for a 9.15pm performance (an hour away).

Everything went to schedule, we parked in the field – the girls were intrigued, and given that there was a shuttle service, they were worried that they’d be going on a long walk – again, all about the full experience, and of course to keep them warm! I had warned them that it’d get pretty cold once the sun had gone down (that in itself is a joke, we hadn’t actually seen the sun much today).

1km down the lane, we got to Three Arches, the area where Kynren is performed. They’ve made some changes since the last time, there’s a purpose-built restaurant area with a little lake in front of it – reservations only and a non-vegetarian set menu meant that I hadn’t considered it. They’ve also updated the method of food delivery by limiting the options and having them all in one place, so one long but fast-moving queue. Ten minutes later we were at the front of the queue and there are about 20 odd tills to take your order, then ‘collect’ it, by which it means go to the counter and give someone your ticket. It was the first night of this year, so there were teething problems – luckily rice noodles and chicken weren’t on our wish list, but things were running out left right and centre.

Marina and I had a wrap, Daria had popcorn chicken with chips, with a cookie for good measure. I ordered a small bottle of wine – to warm me up, purely medicinal I assure you! I asked the girls to find a table – and bless them, they stood shyly next to a whole set of tables not daring to ask if any of the seats were free. Once I had arrived, I stared down a couple and they quickly ran away (in reality, I asked if we could share their table, and they said that they’d finished anyway.)

It was quite obvious to Marina and I that the wrap wasn’t going to be enough – so I went back to get some chips for us. Thank goodness we’d already bought the cookie, as they had run out of those too – I was wondering if I could sell Daria’s for a profit, but that would’ve been mean 😉 Things had turned a little more barbarian, and people were muscling in, and civilisation was in rapid decline. So, when a man stood in front of me and the server asked who was next, I popped my head around and told them that he’d queue jumped! He gallantly said that he could see two servings of chips right there and ‘this lady’ should have those poste haste! I thanked the kind sir – took the food and ran. More disappointment greeted me at the table. Daria said that she’d finished off my glass of wine. Then said she was only joking, the wind had knocked the plastic glass over – I howled, I wouldn’t have minded if she had drunk it – the waste of a perfectly adequate merlot! Anyhow, a mouthful or two was left in the bottle, so all was not lost.

We hadn’t brought the umbrellas, as it had looked fine when we got there. I had checked the weather forecast, even asked one of the guides there – she said that BBC had said no rain!! We made our way to the seats and the moment we got through to the stands and found our seats – it began to rain! Luckily, the woman in front saw that I was getting wet, and kindly said she had an extra plastic waterproof that I could cover us all in. The girls were wrapped in 4 layers of clothing, and each had blankets for their legs – this wasn’t my first rodeo. I have to say – they were really excited about it all, which was very gratifying for me.

The show started promptly. I saw it twice four years ago, I enjoyed it very much – it hasn’t changed at all! It is still narrated by Kevin Whately who played Lewis in Morse – and I looked him up and found out he’s from Chollerford near Hexham (which we drove through on the way to Hadrian’s Wall), and is a Geordie! There were a few bits missed, they played Indian music during the part with Victoria, and last time there were Hindu dancers, so it was a little strange to have the sitar playing without a context. I also noted that there were no non-white faces at all! Is this indicative of Bishop Auckland?

They went through the whole history of England – just as last time, with plenty of animals, jousting, dancing, fire works etc. Daria was thrilled! On the way back to the car, she said that she couldn’t stop smiling – I too was really happy about that!

They had Lindisfarne – which I had pointed out to them from the train – they spoke of Hadrian’s wall – yep, been there today, and then just as before: 1066 (a lesson about that followed, obviously), then Henry VIII, Elizabeth I (with an appearance from Shakespeare), Charles I lost his head – again, Victoria and Industrialisation – ha! Told you the steam train was important. WW1 was represented by the Christmas Day football match (who actually won that?) and then right up to Elizabeth II – and there it stopped. Hmmmm – now is it because they just don’t want to change it, or are they making a political commentary by not mentioning the current monarch?!

Anyhow, smiles all around as the evening came to an end. We got home just after midnight, and I’m afraid that I was just too tired to write it all down – phew I hear people say, can you imagine how long it would have been if I’d written it last night while it was still fresh in my mind, there’d be another 2 pages at least.

Today was a calmer day, it was difficult to follow Edinburgh!

Breakfast was devoured promptly and the girls set to work on their diaries, worksheets and reading. No photographic evidence of that, unfortunately.

Before lunch, we took Pip for a walk and I threw the girls in at the deep end. I handed them a purse and a bag outside the bakery, and told them to go in and buy a loaf. Daria looked at me in absolute horror! I emphasised that I couldn’t take the dog in with me, so I had to wait outside. Luckily, Marina was up for the challenge and in they went, Pip sat outside howling at the loss of his two new besties. Daria was adamant that it was very stressful. We got to the farm shop, and I wanted Strawberry Jam – and anything that they might want, I got the jam – and they were less stressed. Following this, we got to the Deli, and I thought that this might be too much, so Pip sat outside with Daria – and not a murmur from him.

We took the opportunity afforded us by the absence of rain, and walked down to the seaside, so that the girls could see Whitley Bay beach and the typical seaside atrocities – fish ‘n’ chips shops, amusement arcade and ice cream parlours. The tide was in, so the lighthouse was connected to the shoreline. I pointed out the key local features – Leli’s future school and the road Camilla lives in – wildly exciting.

On the way back, they went in and bought some cakes – and that went far more successfully, they’re getting the hang of it.

Marina acting as chef, and Daria as sous-chef, lunch was made and thoroughly enjoyed.

The afternoon’s entertainment was a trip into Newcastle to see it properly. Arriving at the Monument Metro station, we ascended to a musical accompaniment – buskers everywhere, people on deckchairs – some crazy stunt by the council, they’re all over the place, parks, riverside etc.

I was about to give my usual spiel about Earl Grey at the top of the monument, but sadly the girls weren’t familiar with Earl Grey tea, so that didn’t go well. Then we walked past the National Theatre – currently showing The Bodyguard – the Musical – they hadn’t heard of Whitney Houston – oh it’s terrible to be so old that all the references that I take for granted are meaningless to the young. (Although it turned out that when I forced them to listen to Whitney Houston at dinner time, they recognised the song, so all is right with the world – all I need now is to buy some Earl Grey tea, then mission accomplished).

We walked down towards the river – taking in the architecture and many pubs, restaurants etc. The weather had picked up, so it wasn’t actually too bad. As we approached The Tyne, we got a good view of the various bridges before crossing the Millenium Bridge. The goal of all of this walking was to get to the Baltic Centre, which has a good 5^th floor viewing gallery of the town. We could make out the monument, with the terrible back drop of St. James’ Park (Newcastle United’s football ground, for anyone who is interested). It isn’t anything as exciting as being atop the Camera Obscura, but the weather had turned out more decent.

I felt that we could at least have a look at one of the exhibitions (we had peaked at the gardening one – ‘The Waiting Gardens of the North’, which had left us puzzled). So, we looked in on the  Chris Killip retrospective. Having been influenced by Henri Cartier-Bresson to become a photographer, and then bored stiff with the New York scene in the 1970s, he returned to the North East to document the lives of the poor in the Thatcher era (I gave a brief breakdown of my views on Margaret Thatcher, I actually left out quite a lot! – I’ll explain the milk-snatcher reference when the girls see this tomorrow). It was actually quite poignant for me, but I’m not sure what the girls made of it. I fear that they’re too polite to tell me what a waste of time it was. However, for me, pictures of children’s playgrounds with tall smoking chimneys behind them, houses right next to a ship being built, young people looking incredibly bored and with new future prospects – it was both depressing and well produced.

We headed back, passing through Newcastle castle – I still find it incredible that you’ve got the Norman Keep on the one side of the railway bridge going into Central Station, and the rest of the castle on the other side – who knows what they could have destroyed! The girls were keen to see it, but sadly, by then it had gone 4pm and therefore last admission had passed.

We explored St. Nicholas Cathedral instead, which was far more interesting. They had done a lot to involve young people, so the girls made a brass rubbing and then we walked around an otherwise unimpressive cathedral. What was interesting was the presence of Shaun the Sheep! All around Newcastle, there are copies of Shaun the Sheep decorated/designed with an array of different motifs – and here too, by the entrance to the choir, was another one – with a wall behind filled with children’s pictures of sheep. All of it is for St. Oswald’s Hospice, part of a fundraising project – we saw at least five today.

Walking back I pointed out the Stephenson monument, I am fairly certain that Daria and Marina are not impressed by George Stephenson’s invention of the steam engine and the key role it had in putting the UK ahead of the rest of the world in the Industrial Revolution (there speaks the Year 9 history teacher), but they should really thank me that I’m not taking them to the Stephenson Museum, that is a must for steam engine enthusiasts (of which I am not one, so I haven’t been there either). Yet, I am happy to point out the statue…

We walked through Grainger Market that was a shadow of its lunchtime heaving self, I really don’t like crowds, so I was good with that – but I concede that we’ll have to go back when it is at full capacity, as it is one of the attractions.

I showed the girls the shopping centre and gave them 30 minutes of free time, I can happily drag others around historical sites, but no-one can drag me around shops aimlessly. The girls seemed pretty pleased, and it is on the list for a return visit.

Once home, Marina and Daria were introduced to the evening’s challenge – following a recipe in English to make their dinner – it was very clearly delicious, they did a fantastic job, whilst simultaneously dancing to Ed Sheeran and others. As well as a few bars of Whitney, they listened to Sting, who they recognised, Newcastle born and bred!

To finish off the evening, today’s biography was Beatrix Potter, the most successful children’s writer ever (according to the film). We watched ‘Miss Potter’ with Renee Zellwegger and Ewan McGregor (also total unknowns). Not the world’s most exciting film, although it is a good glimpse into Edwardian life of the rich, a life of appearances being more important – and of course women who didn’t get married to whomever they were ‘introduced’ to by their parents. As well as being beautifully filmed in the Lake District – 90 minutes away, so near yet so far.

Anyhow, tomorrow we’re off to see the Romans and in the evening the live performance of Britain’s history at Kynren – the forecast is actually fairly good (famous last words).

How happy Daria and Marina can be, exchanging 30 degrees for 15, the Mediterranean for the North Sea, is not entirely clear – but I definitely sensed some enthusiasm when they arrived at Edinburgh Airport this afternoon. EasyJet outdid themselves as the girls arrived on time. I waited with bated breath for a pair of teenage girls and copious luggage, but only a suitcase between them!

Edinburgh suburbs aren’t much to look at, but as the bus approached the city centre the girls became very excited – despite the ominous grey clouds that loomed above. We parked the suitcase and walked at speed in the direction of Holyrood Palace. As always, I had planned a lot for a very short amount of time. So, time was of the essence – ooo look there, ooo quick glance… that’s…

Upon leaving Waverly Station – having mentioned Sir Walter Scott in passing, we headed up one of the many alleyways in search of the Royal Mile (in truth I got halfway and thought that I’d made a dreadful mistake, as I thought I’d collapse, running up steps with a full backpack isn’t as easy as it used to be!) Then, having reached the Royal Mile right in the middle, we sped along towards the Palace of Holyrood House – to give it its proper name.

I had briefed Daria and Marina on Queen Elizabeth II’s final journey from Holyrood to St. Giles’ Cathedral, and the relatively recent coronation of King Charles III there too. So, the context and build up having been sorted, we entered the magnificent Palace. I hadn’t been there myself, walked past many times, so it was a real treat for me too.

My mum used to complain that French palaces were empty, and of course Holyrood, a functioning Royal Palace, was resplendent with tapestries, paintings, a gorgeous dining room set for a sumptuous meal, throne room, bed chambers etc. Interestingly the bedchamber of Lord Darnley was directly under Mary’s – his wife, how did that work – usually spouses are either end of a building, it was strange to walk up a small staircase to her room. However, for me, that 3^rd floor was the best – her ante-chamber had a marvellous collection of jewellery and a 15^th Century book of Common Prayer.

The gallery was a bit of a giggle – for me – as all of the paintings of Scottish nobility were written in a Latin fashion – Duncanus, Kennethus, Angusus, Jacobus etc. There was also a cluster of medals representing all of the possible awards that can be given from OBE and up (I dare say there is something lower than OBE, but as I am unlikely ever to get within sniffing distance of a gong, I haven’t studied the options too carefully.)

Outside were the splendid Royal gardens, they were beautifully maintained, so colourful and varied, and with Arthur’s Seat as the perfect backdrop – as the Royal Park extends into the distant hills – we could see so many brave souls who had walked up there, it looked like a veritable picket fence.

Finally, there was the ruins of the Abbey from which Holyrood got it’s name, which basically means Holy cross or pole, as a king had had a vision of some such cross in the 12^th Century.

It was James IV who began the building of Holyrood as a home for his bride, Margaret Tudor – Henry VIII’s sister, in 1501 – and it was his great grandson James VI who became James I of England. There was a quick briefing on Mary, Queen of Scots – more on that another time.

Having whipped around the palace, trying to avoid the annoying child who kept asking his dad why he had to keep his voice down – at full volume, we were back at the beginning of the Royal Mile – looking across the road at the Scottish Parliament – what a contrast! 16^th Century meets 21^st Century head on! Both look marvellous – but opposite each other seems a little weird.

We sauntered back up the Mile, as we now have plenty of time to get to our 4.30 slot at the Camera Obscura. We take note of the interesting buildings, the alleyways, the Christmas Shops, Tartans, Tweeds, Whiskey – the lot. I point out Adam Smith – if the girls do business, then I can’t imagine that they won’t hear about him – David Hume dressed as a Greek philosopher, and a poster for The Dungeons inspired me to tell the girls about Burke and Hare – Edinburgh really has it all.

We get to the top of the Royal Mile, but the scaffolding for the Edinburgh Tattoo seating is already in place, so we couldn’t see the castle properly – thankfully the girls had seen Edinburgh Castle from Princes Street. It started to drizzle – what great timing – we arrived at the Camera Obscura.

Having been here with children before, I knew that I was onto a winner – the girls at times squealed with delight, it was very entertaining. Well named the World of Illusions, we traversed the five floors with so many optical illusions, it certainly made our heads spin – especially the tunnel where you’re walking in a straight line, but the tunnel is rotating around you – so you feel that you’re going to fall over – always a winner.

At the top we had beautiful vistas, despite the mist on the Firth of Forth and the slate grey sky. I read a notice about the chimneys and when it was forbidden to use them, I can imagine that the smoke must have surrounded the whole area – some of the buildings had 10 chimneys or more. Once I pointed out the poop emoji – which is meant to be a bronze coiled ribbon trailing off into the sky! I looked it up, and as I couldn’t remember the name of the building – I just wrote Edinburgh poop emoji – and there it was straight away, an upscale hotel mocked as looking like said emoji.

Naturally, there are more photos from the latter museum than the palace, as it was a lot more fun – but if I don’t write the history down, I’ll forget it – so thank you for baring with me.

Right at the top we were treated to a tour of the city from the Camera Obscura itself, by May, a lovely guide getting everyone laughing at the various people that we were spying on from the 6^th floor. She pointed out all of the key sites, including St. Margaret’s Chapel which is the oldest building in Edinburgh, within the castle walls. Anyone that is called Margaret, can get married there for free – and apparently it doesn’t cost much to change your name in Scotland if you’re not called Margaret. It was a fascinating talk and was fun seeing her splatting pedestrians with a card – hard to explain, but fun was had by all.

As we came out, it began to tip it down, so armed with an umbrella each, we made our way back to Waverley Station. We took several alleyways in an attempt to take a short cut, which worked, except that they became narrower and narrower – and our umbrellas couldn’t fit! So, we had to walk slanting them sideways a little – another giggle.

I introduced the girls to M & S food at the station and we climbed aboard our train to Newcastle. There’s a wonderful photo montage of the before/after variety – dinner time and introduction to ‘work’ – I gave the girls their ‘summer diaries’ to begin, smiles turned to deep concentration as they tried to remember how words were spelt.

Newcastle is not quite as pretty! (Understatement) We made our way home, and the girls were introduced to Pip. Daria yawned most of the way on the Metro, I hope that they sleep well.