Whilst the girls have been doing their diaries and the odd worksheet, I haven’t been doing much teaching – so I thought that I’d start Sunday with some work – obviously an hour delayed following the late night before. There really isn’t much of interest to note about that – we looked at extinct and endangered animals, vocabulary and present perfect tense – big whoop!

Instead, it’s more interesting to head to the afternoon where we went to Belsay Hall and Castle. It’s run by the English Heritage, and I knew that there was a special activity day – jousting! Luckily, I hadn’t expected to see great battles on horseback, as they clearly don’t know that jousting isn’t just two knights hitting each other, but we didn’t need to see the whole shebang and I hadn’t set up any expectations.

We just missed ‘knight training’, but as this involved 14 under 10s and wooden swords, I doubt Marina and Daria would have volunteered anyway. However, we were in time for the musical instruments. A wonderful couple, probably music teachers, went through almost 20 medieval instruments, an array of horns, lyres and drums. They were very funny too. They also got everyone to do a medieval dance – and when I saw them later, I thanked them profusely, as Daria had said that that was what she had enjoyed the most.

Then there were the knights hitting each other – hmmmm – I found it somewhat tedious, so I was delighted when Daria suggested that we look around the Hall. A regency building (1810 – 1817), which looks magnificent from the outside, but has fallen into disrepair – partly due to WW2 when the family were elsewhere involved in the war, and the lack of heating (scarce resources due to the war effort) which caused damn to permeate the house. A pity, as the Middletons had lived there since the 13^th Century.

However, we got a feeling for what the place must have looked like, as some rooms did have photos – the girls were particularly impressed with the size of the reading room / library, shelves sadly bare – oooo what I could do with a room like that!! They were also introduced to William Morris wallpaper, as the bedrooms had been redecorated in the Victorian era and there was pealing flower wallpaper in all of the upstairs rooms.

We also got a peak into the servants part of the house, in utter ruins – with 4 floors rather than the two floors with high ceilings of the main part. I can imagine how the war and the changes in social classes must have impacted the situation – who would want to work there in those conditions from the post-war period.

We could follow the knight’s melee from the front-facing rooms – the ‘Golden’ knight won – not surprised he seemed quite the bully! I did wonder if it was agreed beforehand, so that between the four knights there wasn’t too much bad blood and rivalry, as I could imagine it getting a bit heated. They were clearly all there for the weekend, and no doubt somewhere else next weekend.

Anyhow, it was time for ‘Top of the Chops’, where two knights talked their way through medieval forms of execution. They agreed that as Top of the Pops stopped being broadcast 15 years ago, and most of the kids were under 12, they would have to rename it – so they rebranded to ‘Axe Factor’ – hilarious if you’re up to speed with such things. (X-Factor – a talent show, if you’re not). Just as they started it began to rain – and I stood there considering whether I should run back to the car for the umbrellas (it had looked ok – famous last words!) They said that they had 2 minutes rain in the morning show – and would you believe it – 2 minutes later it just stopped. Thank goodness I hadn’t made a run for it.

This was definitely the most gruesome thing that I have ever seen. Not the show, but the kids! OMG! The two knaves were very entertaining and there was something for everyone. Having introduced the various methods of execution in the Middle Ages, they went on to look at the top 5 executions in British History. For each one, they described what had happened for them to be found guilty of treason, and then their method of execution, finishing off with what the kids thought should have happened to them – it was like watching those films from the French Revolution or the witch hunts – kids screaming out ‘burn them’, ‘off with their heads’ or ‘the full Monty!’ (Which was hung, drawn, and quartered), they were really baying for blood – it was truly appalling! William the Conqueror apparently loved having people’s eyes burnt out with a heated rod! And when he asked about who was the leader in 1066, and the kid asked said he didn’t know – I gasped, quite audibly! He noted that it was a sad indictment of the education system, but I am sure that the poor kid was nervous – and there was me having told the girls that everyone in England knows about 1066! (And when I told Camilla about it, she gasped too – but it was in a bedroom, so not quite as obvious).

So, Wat Tyler from the peasant’s revolt was dispatched (and some of the kids did know that one), then William Wallace (a very funny caricature of him with an Australian accent – Mel Gibson in Braveheart for anyone not understanding that one), and I presumed the last one would be Guy Fawkes, but they gave him a miss, so number 1 was … drum roll (yes we did a drum roll each time), Joan of Arc. As mentioned, each time they went around the crowd and each time I yelled let them go! And the one time, one of the knaves got around to where we were sitting, and I said ‘let them go’, and he looked at the braying kids on the other side and said ‘not a chance madam’, but the Dutch tourists next to us were also in agreement, and quite shocked by these kids – as were Daria and Marina – bloodthirsty little tykes!

Following this there were other various events, but we decided to explore the gardens and the ruins of the castle – no doubt a wise choice. The gardens there are beautiful, both the formal part and the quarry, where they got the stone for the Hall – which was set out as any good Victorian family would, with plenty for the children to study in terms of flora and fauna – a collector’s paradise. I was disappointed that we still can’t climb to the top of the castle battlements, but we looked around at the ruins and headed back, having explained to the girls what a ha-ha is (a sunken boundary, so you can have cattle in the field next to you, but they can’t get across). I’m sure that they will find great use for this new vocabulary!!

I asked the girls if they wanted an ice-cream, by now the performances had finished, everyone was packing up, so the hoards of families had left – so no queue for ice-creams! Daria asked if they could have marshmallows instead – wow what eagle-eyes! I hadn’t noticed that there was an area with oil drums ablaze for roasting marshmallows. They only had a few left – so the man gave them to the girls for free – kerching! I saved a whopping £3! 😊 More importantly, the girls loved them.

The drive there and back was lovely, as Belsay Hall is off the beaten track, so it was country lanes most of the way. On the way back, I decided we’d have a look at the Lighthouse on St. Mary’s Island – if the tide was out – it was. So we were able to cross the causeway, look in empty rockpools (bother, I had hoped for at least one crab), and we did manage to spot some seals in the distance, and one a bit closer up – but I was a little concerned about that one. The girls had the full experience of the North Sea coastline, it’s windy! We could look across to Whitley Bay, I wish I could make that sound really exciting, but it is just looking over at a row of buildings with ‘Spanish City’ not adding a great deal. (The white domed building).

Luckily for me, Marina truly loves her cooking – and therefore made dinner again – and she tidies up as she goes along (hint – Karina!!). At dinner time we listened to Elvis, as the girls hadn’t heard of him, fortunately they were saved by having heard the songs before, so it was just the name that eluded them.

The evening entertainment was less edifying than Miss Potter, but the girls had a good laugh at ‘Rat Race’ – it is sad that all foreign students only know Rowan Atkinson from Mr Bean, and don’t know John Cleese at all 😦